You never want to find yourself in a space at work where you are labelling or boxing someone for being difficult or challenging. It is far more progressive and mature to listen and take what you can from a situation or thought. This is inevitably how ideas are born.
We’ve all been in a place where we share new ideas, concepts or ways of doing things and the team or company push back because they are not where you are. If you are non-conformist, change maker or someone that is always pushing the boundaries of the system or the place that you are working in, you will always get criticism or push back because people are not where we are or don’t have the background and may need some time to adapt or get used to the change/ idea that you are presenting. This is not the situation I’d like to discuss today.
There are times where we find ourselves in a place where a co-worker does not seem to respect or value our opinion or expertise / ideas or skills that we bring to the table. This is what I would like to address in this article. There is a place in this stream of thought where we can start talking about unconscious bias or microaggressions or even power play that happens when we work with people that are different to us in terms of our values, background, culture or within the organizational hierarchy.
Wholesome relationships in the workplace are essential to creating a positive work environment and fostering a culture of productivity, collaboration, and mutual support. And not being able to work cohesively with a co-worker will hurt your productivity and unsettle healthy team dynamics.
I would like to recommend a few proactive ways that helps to build a bridge instead of burning it when things have become difficult with a co-worker.
- Break away from the usual setting and offer to take them for coffee. During your chat have a down to earth informal conversation and get to know your co-worker. Who are they, where did they grow up and what are they passionate about? Make the effort to immerse yourself in the culture and values of your co-worker. Most times a conversation like this will help you find out where you share similarities and meet in the middle.
- Stay positive. During the suggested conversation, stay positive and motivated that you will work through this. Your energy and willingness to work through the tough situation is usually what creates deeper more impactful relationships. This is usually referred to as the period of storming.
- Don’t play mind games or compete. When you bring this kind of energy into a tough or sensitive conversation or situation, others can sense it and it may cause more push back or encourage the person to want to protect themselves by sharing less or not being honest with where they are. Making it challenging to build a solid relationship connection. No one wins when others are sacrificed.
- Be honest. Once you are sure that everyone is calm and ready to have a meaningful conversation, start to talk about what you facing in this relationship. Be open, sincere and considerate of the person you are engaging. Make sure you communicate what your intentions and goals are. People easily forget that we go to work to make money for the businesses that we work in and from that comes our salary. Keep it simple and clear that you are here to win together.
- Acknowledge any concerns that your co-worker may have and apologise if you have accidently or mistakenly offended them. In diversity of cultures and language it is easy to offend another when you do not understand their history or struggles. The only way to close the gap on this is to spend more time immersed in their value system and culture.
- Take action. Commit and agree jointly on what needs to change or offer to make changes first. Then try to stick to what you agreed on. Breaking these kind of agreements will cause a break of trust within the relationship. So be careful about what you commit to. If you cannot follow through, don’t commit.
For more information on this topic or to work through a current work related relationship issue that you may be challenging, reach out for a 15 free consultation or full hour advisory session.
